Dating, finding love across the globe etc, etc..

Dating

When the opportunity arises to date a friend's ex, you'll probably wonder whether you should go there? Although there might be no real reason for you not to date them, you'll find yourself wondering how your friend will react and how others will judge you. The last thing you want is to lose your friend over it, but you also don't want to miss the opportunity on getting together with your possible perfect partner.

Relationship

Before you take action about dating your friend's ex, you need to be aware of the consequences. If your friend is a very good friend, who you couldn't be without, then you need to think long and hard about whether their ex is worth possibly losing your friendship over. Also, you need to consider how long ago they split up and how serious their relationship was. If they just went on a couple of dates and your friend is over them, then they shouldn't have any issues about you dating them. However, if they were in a serious relationship for quite a long time and they only recently split up, then you could be in for a tough time. You might want to question how their ex can move on so quickly after a serious relationship and consider if it could be to make your friend jealous.

If you are certain their ex is interested in you, then you need to figure out what it is you are after. If you just want something casual, then you need to choose whether you're willing to risk losing your friend over a casual fling. In this case, expect an angry response from your friend. If you have developed strong feelings for their ex, then you need to find out how they feel about you. If it's one sided, then your friend doesn't need to know. If they feel the same way about you though, you need to discuss with their ex how you're both going to deal with the situation. If you both agree you want to start dating seriously and truly believe you have a special connection between you, then you must be upfront from the start. The last thing you want is for your friend to find out from some else that you're dating, or even see you together without warning.

The best thing to do is be honest with everyone involved. If you have decided to give a relationship a go, tell your friend from the start. Be prepared for an angry reaction. Sit them down and tell them everything. Ask them how they'd feel if you started dating their ex. Make sure they're aware of how serious you are about each other and that you really want to make a relationship work without losing them as a friend. All you can do is be upfront. If your friend has moved on and has dated others since they split up, they should be fine with the situation. They might be absolutely fine with it and be happy that you have found each other, but there's a good chance they'll be upset and angry. They could say they don't want you to date their ex, but at the end of the day you can date whomever you like. Their ex is not their possession and you or they don't need permission from your friend to date. In time your friend will get over it and will accept that you are seeing their ex.

Your friend's reaction really depends on how the relationship with their ex was and ended, and how close your friendship is. Once they realise you are serious about their ex, they might accept it sooner and be glad that you're happy. Just try not to brag about it to others. Also, be prepared for mutual friends to have their opinions about it, especially if your friend was angry initially and told them what has happened, but from their point of view.

Dating
 

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